Critics of The Hunter s Wife

Yesterday, someone (she reads my blog) was making fun of me for not being a girly girl that takes her own fish off the hook. Coincidence that I asked if my readers take their own fish off the hook?

Maybe.

Probably not.

Dear chick that takes her own fish off the hook,

Before you get your fish off your hook ¦ I ll break your pole.

Love,

The hair puller.

It s a full moon tonight be safe all!

I love my readers.

Flying off on my broom for the night!

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

Kentucky Fishing Guides and Princess Fishing Chick Angler of the Year

We ve been vacationing at Barkley Lake, Kentucky for about 5 years.   One of the reasons we continue to go back is the fishing.  We ve always managed to bring home our share of bluegill, crappie, yellow strippers and catfish.  Between my husband and I, on average, we catch about 100 fish a day. We ve never had a problem catching fish.  But this year the guys, Mark and Troy, decided to hire a guide to possibly find a few new spots and learn a few new tips.

So we hired Billy Joe Boitnott that was highly recommended by the locals.

And I had no idea what to expect but I was put on the boat with Billy Joe and it was fishing heaven.

Let s take a look back at my fishing history:

• My 1st year of fishing:  My husband took care of everything but I needed to learn if I wanted to be fishing chick angler of the year.
• My 2nd year of fishing:  I touched worms and baited my own hook.  Because one day I ll be fishing chick angler of the year that doesn t need a man baiting her hook.
• My 3rd year of fishing:  I could rig up my own pole in case of brush hangups.  Or tree hangups.  Or my own hair hangups.  No need for a man on this boat.  I m fishing chick angler of the year.
• My 4th year:  I just can t take a fish off the hook but I ll take pictures with it.  Posing as fishing chick angler of the year.
• My 5th year:  Oh Billy Joe where have you been for the past 4 years?

I sat in a chair on the front of the boat like princess fishing chick angler of the year and never had to move.  He baited my hook, fixed my line, baited my hook, took my fish off, fixed my line, fixed my line and fixed my line.

And he called me cute pet names ¦  Sassy Susie, Sassy Jo, Sassy Jane and Sassy Frassy.

And I m not sure why?  Cause I m not Sassy.  I was very proper, polite and well-mannered.  I was the perfect lady and I made sure not to use one bad word.  I had a talk with myself before we went not to use bad words.  No bad words Jody.   It wouldn t be ladylike.

But then I heard Billy Joe say, you monkey a few times.  And just when I lost that monster 10 lb crappie I loudly blurted out ¦

Y O U      M O T H E R     M O N K E Y.

Have a good day all ¦  I wonder if Billy Joe would paint my toenails next time?

Who needs the title fishing chick angler of the year being all fishing independent when you can be princess fishing chick angler of the year thanks to Billy Joe.

~~~~~~~~~~

If you d like to hire a guide on Barkley or Kentucky Lake, I would highly recommend Billy Joe Boitnott.  For more information and if you d like his number you can email me at:  jody @ thehunterswife . net.

Thank you all and thank you Billy Joe!

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

To Tinkle In The Woods I ll Go

If you ve been reading my blog for any amount of time you ve probably come across a comment or two I ve made about never tinkling in the woods.  I m not that kind of outdoors girl.  A squirrel might see me.  But after an incident at the marina last week, well, um, lets just say I d rather a squirrel saw me.

It was a very hot week of fishing.  85 degrees hot. Being on a boat in the middle of the lake with the sun beating down on you feels like 95 degrees.  Without making a move, you ve already worked up a good sweat.  Which means your clothes are wet and stuck to you.

My husband decided he needed more minnows so we headed to the marina.  We pulled up at the dock and I decided I better use the ladies room.  So I pranced across the dock and up the pier to the restaurant wishing everyone a good morning along the way.

On my way out, I wished more fellow anglers and marina workers a good morning and climbed back into the boat.  As we pulled away I noticed several workers going about their business on the dock, people having coffee on the upper level of the marina restaurant and I thought about the people that had a beautiful view to the water while dining in the restaurant.

We finally made our way to a brush pile with our fresh minnows and my boat duties kicked in.  I bent over and dropped the anchor in the water.  I bent over and set the minnows out for easy access.  I bent over and handed my husband a minnow.  And I bent over,  grabbed my pole and started fishing while standing.

A short time later, another boat anchored behind us to fish a separate brush pile.  We made small talk with the older couple and then I went about my fishing business.  Bending over to get a minnow, bending over to pick up my minnow I dropped and bending over to pick up my squirmy little minnow again.  After about an hour, our elder friends left.

You know when it s 85 degrees out, your clothes are stuck to you, you re swatting bugs in fear of getting bit and you start itching?  Well I was all over the boat swatting and itching when I felt something biting the back of my leg.  I turned my body to give the back of my leg a good itch when I noticed it.

You know when you re the girl that doesn t tinkle in the woods and is in fear of bathroom germs so you cover the toilet like you re wallpapering the thing in case your squat fails?

You know when it s 85 degrees and your ass is as sticky as wallpaper?

And your squat failed for that brief second just long enough for a 5 feet long piece of toilet paper to stick to your ass.

You know when you bend over 100 times in a boat and you re husband never notices that you have  5 feet of toilet paper hanging out your sticky wallpapering ass?

You know when you re on a boat and an older couple is fishing behind you and they never once said, Excuse me hon, but I think you have something hanging out your panties?

You know when you re sitting there having flash backs of where it happened, when it happened, and for the love of prancing across the marina like you re super TP girl, who in the world saw you?

Oh help me.

And then you do what every wife would do after sitting on a boat with their husband for 12 hours a day¦

Mark? Grr Mark.  Grr.  As many times as I bend over in this stupid boat, how did you not see 5 feet of toilet paper hanging down to my ankle?  I went on and on.  Blah blah blah.  Guys at the marina saw me.  Other anglers saw me.  Blah blah blah.  OMG blah blah blah.  I don t even know what I was rambling but it was a good wife ramble for a good 15 minutes.

And all he had to say was, Jody,  I was fishing.

I am never using the marina bathroom again.

Mariana worker:  Where you going?

TP super girl:  To use the ladies room.

Mariana worker:  It s that way.

TP super girl:  Oh no it s not.  It s behind tree number 3.

Have a good day all ¦ to tinkle in the woods I ll go.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

Gettin Jiggy With It

The first year I started fishing with my husband I was more concerned with how beautiful it was being out on the water at dawn ¦

And I loved this cold morning seeing other anglers out on the water ¦

And I spent a lot of time just watching my husband enjoy fishing ¦

And with two pairs of glasses on my head and a face that shows how early in the morning it was ¦ I d ask, Is this a crappie?

And then it happened last year.  I think I just got scolded for talking so much so I was minding my own fishing business when I felt something pull my line.  And I politely whispered, Um Mark, I think you should get the net.  And he didn t until I heard him say, That s a damn crappie.  And he about jumped in the water trying to make sure my inexperienced crappie fishing self didn t lose my fish¦

My first crappie.  My first fish I actually touched.  Please excuse the crusty hair and the I m soaking wet and I m not holding a fish look on my face. But I have a husband that thinks, Oh you won t get wet.  Just enjoy the boat ride.  As we head right through a huge whitecap.

And excuse the 10 chins. Thank you.

So this year is different for me.  I m gettin jiggy with it.  Over the past few weeks I ve been ¦

• Checking the weather.
• Checking fishing reports.
• Watching crappie You Tube fishing videos.
• Reading up on how to catch crappie.
• Purchasing my own jiggy do s from what I ve read.
• Practicing posing for better pictures.

Have a good day all ¦ I have 10 chins to hide before our fishing trip next week.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

For The Love of Fishing

I only started fishing a few years ago and I fell in love with ¦

The beautiful sunrises¦

The peaceful scenery¦

Spending time with my husband ¦

Spending time with friends with big fishing poles ¦

The fish we catch ¦

The evening cookouts ¦

The guys that clean my fish ¦

And taking pictures of crusted fish guts on my leg ¦

Have a good day all ¦ I think I might need to go tanning before our April fishing trip.  Or maybe I ll just wear pants.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

For The Love of Fishing

I only started fishing a few years ago and I fell in love with ¦

The beautiful sunrises¦

The peaceful scenery¦

Spending time with my husband ¦

Spending time with friends with big fishing poles ¦

The fish we catch ¦

The evening cookouts ¦

The guys that clean my fish ¦

And taking pictures of crusted fish guts on my leg ¦

Have a good day all ¦ I think I might need to go tanning before our April fishing trip.  Or maybe I ll just wear pants.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

Run away Crappie Fishing

I say we all run away and go somewhere.  Like Kentucky fishing.  For crappie. This beautiful fall weather makes me want to run away.

This is the first and only time I ve touched a fish. But if I run away fishing alone ¦ I will need to take my fish off the hook by myself.

Umm¦

Ok¦

Hahaha¦

I can t¦

Fisher Tak-er Off-er for Hire!

I ll pay you.

And I m fun entertainment.

I ll bring cupcakes.

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

Happy Anniversary

It s our 10 year anniversary today and I wanted to wish my husband Mark a happy anniversary and thank him for putting up with me.  I know it hasn t been easy living with a girl that can t even take a fish off a hook without a handy wipe.

And after seeing what his fingers look like, ouch. Bluegills poke and that would hurt my little fingers.

And while he cleans over 700 fish, he lets me sit and relax.  After about 5 minutes I m bored, so I take pictures of myself. Then when we get home and he sees our pictures I hear, What are you doing? Your flapper is on your forehead.  Except he used the right word for flapper.

Or when I take pictures like this one he has to be all serious like, What are you doing now? Me, Taking a picture of the crusty worm guts on my leg.

There are times he doesn t think I m funny. Well¦most of the time.  So this is why when I do the things I do, I make sure he doesn t see me.  And I almost got caught with his 6 pointer.   I was almost on a made dash with his deer.  Morning news: Crazy chick with fake deer running down the street.

But he s my driver¦

And he takes my fish off the hook.

And he cleans all my fish.

While I¦ummm¦yea..

I luv him!

Have a good day all ¦ and for those of you who follow me on Twitter, I might have to bring out the tinkies or the hoppes.  It is our anniversary you know!

See the original article at TheHuntersWife.net

August s Woman of the Wild-Tammy Ballew

Tammy Ballew is a court reporter by profession and a huntress by passion. She has spent hundred of hours over the last 30 years hunting deer, turkey and several small game species, in addition to fishing in her home state of Missouri. An avid outdoorswoman in many respects, Tammy s love of hunting and fishing has enabled her in her outdoor writing career also. She currently is a member of WOMA, Women s Outdoor Media Association, and is the field staff editor for the Women in the Outdoors”Gals with Guns and Fishing Females section of the West Tennessee Outdoor and Michigan s Hooks and Bullets Magazine. Tammy also writes for The WON, The Women s Outdoor News, and contributes to their In the Bag reviews. Tammy recently joined the Pro Staff at HuntingLife.com

Tammy started hunting in her early 20s, and although deer hunting was her first experience, she soon grew equally as excited about turkey hunting. I loved the vocalness of the turkeys and the amazing transformation of Mother Nature during the early weeks of spring turkey season. She admits she knew nothing about turkey hunting, but she bought a couple turkey calls and a training tape, and read as many articles as she could on the subject, and was soon on her way to chasing gobblers. In fact, the first turkeys she called up, she was so shocked that she did it, she didn t even shoot. Lesson learned, she has since been successful on several toms.

She and her husband have five children, and most of them hunt at least some species. One of her fondest hunts was with her son, Travis, a Marine currently serving in Iraq. They doubled up on a couple gobblers after a morning of whatever-could-go-wrong-went-wrong hunt.

They also have five grandchildren, which Tammy holds a Kuzin Kamp each summer where she teaches the kids to fish, shoot BB guns and .22s, catch-and-release frogs and any other critter that comes in their path.

Tammy s goals are to pass down the traditions of hunting and fishing to her children, grandchildren, and anyone else that wants to share in the experience.

See the original article at CampWildGirls.com